We Gonna Part-tay
by marsianfellow
Summary: When Rudy goes out of town, the Warriors decide to throw down. What can go wrong in a span of a night? Turns out - plenty. With jealous jocks, missing goat, and what's that? Fights? AU. Chronicles verse but can be read alone. One shots. Millie. Kick.
1. Potato, Patato

**A/N: So I wanted to take a break from my other fic and wanted to write something fun and silly for a change. **

**Basically, this is a whole series of one-shots still taking place in The Wasabi Chronicles verse. It revolves around a party gone wrong. If you read Chapter Three, you'll know the party I'm referring to, but the one shots can read as stand alones. The fics won't be in exact chronological order so please bear with me.**

**Just to be safe, the M rating is for heavy cursing. I hope you guys enjoy reading and stick around for the journey. **

******Disclaimer: All the properties and rights of Kickin' It belong to Disney XD, etc. No copyright infringement intended, and no profit is being made from it.**

* * *

Jerry was fucked.

Ab-so-lute-ly. Fucked.

There was no way he was going to come out of this unscathed.

Sure, he pulled off many stupid stunts in the past; gotten away with most of them. It's like people said: familiarity breeds stupidity. Or was it the other way around? Well, whatever it was, Jerry figured he had nothing to lose with a prayer or two. Or five. Then again, screw prayer. At this rate, he'd be seeing the little guy with the red horns.

Forget Rudy. Hell, forget Mika. Phil would have the most motivation and least hesitation to go after him now. The Hamakistanian was a sap, but he wasn't above dishing out some violence; he had the bloodstains on the brooms to prove it. Phil had an enormously, unhealthy attachment to that goat for damn sure.

So, yeah…..fuck it. If he was going down, he might as well make himself comfortable in the process. And that was how Eddie found him that morning at the dojo: lying on his back with a bowl half full of popcorn propped on his chest and two-and-a-half empty bottles of orange soda scattered about.

"Jerry?"

Remaining flat on his back, Jerry raised his hand half-heartedly and grunted some unintelligible greeting.

"Jerry, did you stay here all night?" an incredulous Eddie asked.

"Sure did," said Jerry. "They must have towed the car, so I got stuck here. I thought what the hell, yo, I'll just sleep here for the night. At least there's no Pepito."

"Dude, I told you not to park in that handicap space!"

"I _was_ handicapped. I fell on my ass real hard, didn't I?"

"Yeah, sliding across the car hood," countered Eddie. "You weren't handicapped, you were dumb."

"Eh, potato, patato," Jerry dismissed.

"Yeah, well your little patato," said Eddie, mimicking his accent on the last word, "got Milton's car towed. He is going to kill you!"

"Muy ez ell yo," said Jerry, stuffing his mouth with popcorn. "Iz gunit hepin enit wey."

Eddie looked on in disbelief and shook his head at the display. Jerry had lost it. Milton was definitely going to lose it. As if right on cue, their red-headed friend entered the dojo. Eddie was surprised to find him sporting a rather dazed expression; complete with glazed over eyes and a big idiotic smile.

"Hey Milton," Eddie greeted.

"S'up Milton," Jerry mumbled, grabbing another handful of popcorn.

It took a few seconds before the reflexes kicked in. Jerry's eyes widened. He bolted upright, spilling the bowl and its contents on the floor, and ran towards Milton. Jerry grabbed his shoulders and shook him.

"Milton, please tell me you got Tootsie?" asked Jerry desperately.

Milton didn't respond. Judging from his unblinking eyes, he was still daydreaming. Jerry smacked him upside the head. "MILTON!"

Milton grabbed his head and rubbed it gingerly. He glared at Jerry. "Gahhhh! Was that necessary?"

"Yeah, sorry, my bad man," Jerry said with faux sincerely. He followed that up with another smack and tightened his grip on the lapels of Milton's jacket. "Milton, where's Tootsie?"

Milton looked puzzled. "You mean Jack hasn't brought him back yet?" he asked.

Jerry felt his heart diving off the cliff. He could have just died right then and there. Died. "Why would Jack bring back Tootsie when you had him last?" Jerry asked. "Remember?"

"What? I never had him. I couldn't even catch him."

"You were last seen with him!"

"Well, it's a very long story –"

Jerry let out a frustrated cry and attempted to grasp the nerd's neck. Eddie intervened before Jerry could choke Milton and shoved them apart.

"Hey!" yelled Eddie. "Knock it off! Look, it's not a big deal – we'll just call Jack." He whipped out his phone and tapped on the screen.

"Don't bother," Jerry said gruffly.

Jerry's front pocket started buzzing. Accompanying it was the unmistakable Sir Mix-A-Lot waxing poetry about the female booty.

"Is that the ringtone he gave me?" Eddie exclaimed.

"You think that's messed up?" said Jerry.

He pulled out his own phone and dialed. Sure enough, they soon heard the horns and trumphets blasting out the melody to "La Cucaracha."

"Huh, that's pretty apt," Milton commented, "…and kinda racist."

Eddie narrowed his eyes. "What do mean 'kinda'?" Eddie asked in a warning tone.

A series of bell chimes saved Milton from responding to the delicate question. He took the phone out, and quickly flipped it open.

"Hello?" he answered. His eyes widened in recognition. "Oh, hey Kim. Yeah, I guess I forgot to return Julie's phone." He paused for a bit. "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, Julie's fine. I dropped her back at the house an hour ago." Milton paused again, listening to the other side. "Uh-huh. Oh Jack's still with you?"

Jerry ripped the phone from Milton. "Jack! Jack! JACK!"

There was a momentary pause and then.. "Jerry?"

"Nah man, it's Milton," Jerry snarked. "Dude, where the hell have you been? And what's Blondie doing with you? Actually, I don't want to know."

He pressed the phone to his ear and started pacing. "Where's Tootside?"

His friends watched as Jerry's expression went through a range of motions: beginning with annoyance, to curiosity, and finally settling to something akin to fear.

"Define 'incident.'"

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**A/N: For fun, I'm gonna add song recs to go along with the party theme. I think Brain Stew by Green Day fits the mood for this one.**

**Let me know what you guys think.**


	2. Invites

**A/N: So just to give a general timeline, this whole party takes place near the beginning of Kim's first year (sophomore year) at Seaford. This takes place prior to the Seaford events in "The Wasabi Chronicles." And to answer the guest reviewer's question, they're not technically dating, but there is planned romance of sorts. ;)**

**This oneshot below takes place the day before the party.**

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Kim liked Julie; truly, she did. She only wished the brunette came with an occasional mute button.

"Mr. Mason is so harsh," Julie complained. "I mean, he says that sulfur has a higher ionization energy than oxygen, when _clearly_ it's below oxygen on the periodic table."

"Mmm-hmm," said Kim automatically. She preoccupied herself tidying up her locker – she didn't have the talent for looking interested.

"Right? It says it right there in the textbook, and he still wouldn't change my grade from a ninety-one to a ninety-three."

"Mmm-hmm."

"I think we should paste naked pics of your dad all over his walls."

"And now you're being ridiculous for two points," said Kim, dryly.

Julie cracked a smile. "Just seeing if you were paying attention."

Kim shook her head in mirth. "How can I not when you use 'naked' and 'dad' in the same sentence? By the way, I appreciate it if you never bring that up again."

Yes, Kim liked Julie Kratz, even if she was overwhelmingly chipper. Aside from wearing glasses and excelling academically, Julie didn't exactly fit the nerd prototype Kim had conjured up in her head. The girl was fearless, for one thing; she jumped readily into any situation and had no problem giving it back as good as she got. She was also tactless, which led to many awkward conversations to navigate around. Kim enjoyed her company, nonetheless, and particularly more so when she let Julie yap away.

"H-h-h-e-ey Julie," a nasally voice stammered.

Milton Krupnik was so quiet that they didn't hear him crept up. Then again, he had about the physique of a praying mantis, so Kim wasn't altogether surprised. She was amused to see that Milton accomplished something she had not: getting Julie to shut up. The brunette's cheeks began to flush, and she offered him a shy smile.

"So..um…what are you …doing…this Saturday?" asked Milton.

Kim turned away and bit her lip to keep her grin in check. Out of the corner of her eye, she could make out the sudden change in Julie's face and posture; her eyes wide and hopeful. Julie had gushed too frequently about her "manly" man; so the ensuing show would prove to be all the more entertaining for Kim.

"Nothing," Julie said, almost breathlessly. "How about you?"

The poor guy was quivering all over like a chiguagua. Coupled with the colorful argyle and bowtie, the effect was rather nauseating to watch. Milton took a few gulps, attempted some kind of sound. Thirty seconds later, the guy still hadn't uttered a word.

"He's throwing a party at the Bobby Wasabi Dojo."

Kim nearly dropped her book. Her pulse spiked considerably after hearing _his_ voice, and she fought the habit to rub the back of her neck. She managed to steady her hand, and stuffed the textbook in her messenger bag before facing the newcomer. Kim was determined not to stare too long at the muscular bicep propped up against the locker on her right. The bicep, of course, belonged to one Jack Brewer, currently peering down at her with amused eyes.

"You guys should swing by," he said casually.

Kim felt irritated. The guy had no concept of personal space. Kim was pretty sure he was leaning down on purpose. The disparity in their heights afforded her a direct view of his collarbone peaking out above his shirt. The moles on his cheeks were the most inconveniently placed targets; her eyes were forcibly drawn to either to his brown eyes or to his full, mocking lips. Jack Brewer just radiated cockiness.

Jack tried to gauge Kim's reaction at the invitation. For the most part, she had a very good poker face. He would have passed it off as disinterest if not for the slight incline of her head and the subtle lift of her right brow he detected. Still, she was not as receptive as he had hoped.

"What kind of party is this exactly?" Kim asked slowly.

"The kind without balloon animals," he joked.

"Huh. So I guess the mall dojo must be a real hot spot in this town then."

"Is that a question?"

"It's not a compliment." She said it lightly though; mouth quirked at the corners.

Jack grinned. "Well, it's still the place to be tomorrow," said Jack. He pulled out a folded up flyer and handed it to her. "Food. Drinks. We got the best D.J. in the house too."

"So there's also dancing?"

"Goes without saying."

"Should we be expecting ninjas to show up to this too?"

"Nope. Just you."

He spoke the last word low; placed the right amount of huskiness in it. Kim refused to believe that her erratic heartbeat could result from just one syllable. She ignored the pounding in her ears, narrowed her eyes, and opened her mouth to retort at the audacity –

"And Julie," Jack added quickly.

He started walking backwards and shot her a final grin. "See you tomorrow then," he said flippantly. He saluted her off with two fingers.

"What kind of smug-ass invitation is that?!" she called out.

But Jack had already turned around. He continued to saunter off, talking with his buddies. Despite that, she could feel, rather than see his smirk.

Kim slammed her locker and zipped up her bag roughly.

"So that's a no?" Julie asked cheerfully.

Kim pressed the flyer into Julie's chest. "That's a definite hell no."

Julie followed after her friend, scanning over the flyer. "Is this Bobby supposed to have two O's in his name?"

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**A/N: Kim's personality is OOC in this AU version. Thanks once again to the guest reviewer and rosa24 for reviewing. Hope everyone enjoyed it, and reviews and thoughts are appreciated.**

**Soundtrack rec: Aint it Fun by Paramore**


	3. B stands for

**A/N: This takes place on the day of the party. Thought I'll switch it up a bit with Eddie and Jerry centric. Thanks to jackandkimforever and EverafterDemigodGallagherCahil for reviewing! Enjoy!**

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It wasn't that Eddie couldn't drive. He just didn't have the drive to drive for a long time. As far as he was concerned, there wasn't a need to: he would carpool with either Jack or Milton after school, and his mom still insisted on dropping him off at school and picking him up from karate classes. And anyways, it was like being chauffeured, so why would Eddie say no to that?

All in all, he was satisfied with his transportation issues,….until the dilemma of dating came up. Besides the Lincoln, having your mother accompany you on your date was just embarrassing. They put a definite end to any scant dating life he had.

The other dilemma, Eddie would later learn, involved transporting his stereos and DJ equipment to an unsupervised party without arousing suspicion.

"How long did you say this party was?"

Particularly his mother's.

Eddie gave his broadest smile. "Midnight?"

"Try again."

"Half past midnight?"

"Boy, you are pushing your luck," his mother warned.

"Mom, c'mon, it's a Saturday," pleaded Eddie. "Nobody leaves at nine pm on a Saturday! It's my job to keep the dance floor packed and the music flowing. And Jerry said he'll drop me off."

Mrs. Jones pursed her lips. "Mmm-hmm. The same Jerry who got you dangling from the ferris wheel at that carnival?"

"It was three feet from the ground! I wasn't going to even break a leg from that!"

"This is also the same Jerry that 'accidentally' pushed you at the Seaford Aquarium?"

"Mom, we've been through this: the polar bear was blind!"

"Eddie, I like Jerry, but I don't trust that boy walking, much less driving," said Mrs. Jones. "And the more I hear about this party, the less I want you at it."

"Do you want to destroy my social life?" said Eddie. "Because this is like my last chance to impress the girls."

"Son, you're being dramatic."

"I'm not being – " Eddie lowered his voice. "I'm not dramatic. Look, I've been good. I'm responsible. I got a lot of A's on my last report card. Don't I deserve something for that?"

Eddie hated his fat cheeks, but he still found plenty of times to put them to use; together with his drooping eyes, his bulldog face proved impossible for his mom to resist. He could see that his mother's skepticism hadn't lessened at all, but she looked like she was starting to reconsider. Eddie considered a different tactic.

"Look, would it help if Milton drops me off then?" he reasoned.

Mrs. Jones remained unconvinced. Eddie quivered his lower lip for good measure. The overall, adorable effect with the jiggling chin sent Mrs. Jones into a chuckle. She made sure to speak her word with a stern tone though.

"Let's be clear about a few things. You need to be home at twelve – not twelve-oh-one, twelve on the dot."

"And," she continued on as Eddie broke out into a full grin, "the only thing that better be flowing there is the music. There better not be a scratch on you either. You understand?"

Eddie nodded and practically flew out of the car. To make sure her message got through, she insisted on coming with him to deliver it to the others herself. She was discouraged, to say the least, coming upon a questionable scenario.

"Milton, be careful with the keg, yo!" Jerry exclaimed.

The metal barrel came up to his waist, but Milton didn't have the muscle, much less the bones, to lift it. His face turned red easily enough from just exerting any effort. He was hunched over, breathing heavily and glaring up at the Latino.

"You give it a shot then since you're so gung-ho about having b – HI MRS. JONES."

Milton lurched back from the object and straightened up. Jerry pivoted around, dropped what she suspected was a guilty expression, and recovered with a smile. "Hey Eddie," he greeted. "Mrs. Jones, you are looking lovely today."

Leave it to the fool to try flattery.

"Hello boys," said Mrs. Jones. She nodded her head towards the object. "What do we have here?"

"That? That's the latest and newest karate training kit." Jerry went up and knocked on the barrel. "See? Solid as a rock, and helps build our muscles."

He was good, she admitted. No hesitation whatsoever. Eye contact maintained. Voice not too smooth, but casual enough to almost dispel her suspicions. Almost.

"Uh-huh. How is it supposed to do that?"

"You lift it. And uh do kicks and flips over it. You know – real hard core stuff."

"Well that keg looks very interesting." said Mrs. Jones. "It wouldn't happen to have something in there now, would it?"

Jerry widened his eyes in mock innocence. "What do you mean Mrs. Jones?"

"I mean a certain kind of amber liquid that you _clearly_ will be underage and therefore illegal to drink," she said. "The kind that I'm sure that Mr. Rudy would not want to pass around to people who have to drive home at night." She narrowed her eyes. "He _especially_ will not want to answer to the parents of those people if they decide to help themselves to it when there are much better beverages to serve."

Milton strained his head. "What's that Eddie?" he with transparent desperation. "You want me to help unload the car? On it!"

The boys ran faster than Eddie on Cake Day, leaving Jerry behind to deal with the formidable lady. "Clearly, you won't be serving something like that."

Jerry nodded quickly. "Clearly."

"Where is Rudy?"

"He's out doing some errands, picking up supplies. He'll be gone for like an hour."

"Well, I'll need to have a word with him before I leave."

"Well maybe you can leave a mess – " Jerry shrunk back from Mrs. Jones' withering glare. "Or you know, not."

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**A/N: If you think there has never been alcohol at unsupervised party, you are wrong. Hope you enjoyed reading, and please comment and review.**


	4. Invites II

**A/N: Man, I wanted this to be longer, but it'll have to do. Takes place day before party, same time as chapter two. Once again, enjoy. Thanks to Hershey 9, jackandkimforever, badada15, and Rosa24 for your reviews!**

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"I'm telling you, yo, this is gonna be one sick party," said Jerry.

Milton peered down at the flyers skeptically. "I still don't think it's a good idea to pass these out. I thought we were going to keep it small. I mean, what if this thing gets out of control?"

"Hey, the more, the better, right?" Jerry said, grinning. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Especially with the girls?"

Eddie nodded enthusiastically. "_Especially_ with the girls," he chimed in.

Jack joined in his friends' laughter. He leaned further back against the lockers, avoiding the oncoming, after school rush. "Dude, I still can't believe Rudy actually handed you the keys," he told Jerry.

Technically, Rudy hadn't handed them as much as he had tossed them thoughtlessly behind his back exclaiming, "Here, lock up." Rudy Gilespie, in his right mind, wouldn't have entrusted Jerry with even plant watering duties. His frantic state of mind, however, could be easily convinced of anything; particularly when the promise land of Vegas beckoned. And if the keys just happened to land in Jerry's hands, well, who was he to argue with Rudy?

"What can I say, Jack?" Jerry gloated. "Rudy really trusts me. When he looks at me, he sees a man who's responsible, honest, and really knows how to take charge."

"And yet, we're throwing a party behind his back," said Milton, wryly.

"Hey, when life gives you an empty ass room with no adults to supervise, you say yes," said Jerry. "You either throw a party or you bring the honeys over to –"

"Gahhhh," Milton cut him off. He covered his ears.

"I was gonna say play video games. Dude, don't be weird."

The gang ironed out the final details. Since Rudy planned to return from Vegas early Sunday morning, they had to time it perfectly; which meant setting up, clearing everyone out, and cleaning it spotless by late Saturday. Jerry didn't seem too worried. If anything, he was convinced that Rudy would extend his stay. Plus, he was traveling with Bobby Wasabi and Phil for Bobby's bachelor party; the combined ruckus they would bring guaranteed at least a bus trip or two with gambling losses. If Bobby's track record was anything to go by, Jerry would wager his fourth marriage lasting barely five months.

"Jaaacck," Randy Plotski greeted. The two exchanged slaps and fist bumps.

"Heard you guys were throwing a shindig tomorrow," said Randy.

"Yeah," said Jack. "I'll put you down on the list."

Milton scoffed. "What list?"

"Actually, it's a party," Jerry said in earnest.

"A shindig is a party," Eddie explained.

"Well, whatever it is, make sure to invite the future Mrs. Plotski over there," said Randy, pointing in the direction of the opposite lockers.

Across the room, two potential Mrs. Plotskis were chatting away. Well,…the brunet one with the cat-eye glasses was chatting incessantly. Her blonde friend was nodding away, listening for the most part as she grabbed books from her locker.

"Julie?" Milton squeaked.

Randy stared at Milton. "What planet are you from? No. The smokin' blonde – Kim."

Randy turned his attention back to the girls. "She's perfect," he said dreamily.

"She's hot, yeah," Jerry agreed cautiously. "She's kind of stuck up though. I mean, I haven't seen her hang out with anybody except Julie. She doesn't really talk much either. It's pretty much like you're having a conversation with yourself."

"Exactly," said Randy, beaming. He waved his goodbyes and jogged off.

Jerry rolled his eyes. "Tch. Look at him: slobbering all over like a puppy. Poor sucker thinks he has a chance. She's gonna rip his heart out and stomp all over it like my abuela's pacifier."

The image brought about by the analogy was enough to give Milton pause as he was about to speak.

"She shot you down, huh?" asked Eddie.

"Pretty much," said Jerry. He turned to Jack. "What do you think, Jack?"

Jack shrugged and glanced once more at the subject of interest. What did he think of her, he mused. Truthfully, he didn't know what to make of Kim Crawford. He knew as much as the rest of them did: that she was a new student who moved here from Tennessee, and like Jerry said, kept mostly to herself. She shared only World History class and lunch period with him. Kim sat too far from him to stare, but close enough to where her presence was palpable: second row from the back, two chairs behind him, column to the right of his. Not that he kept track.

Jack couldn't really explain it, but the more he studied Kim, the more he felt like she was a walking contradiction of sorts. The rigid posture and tilted chin made her petite frame appear taller than she was (or as Grace put it: snobby). A bubbly personality would have suited her better than the abrupt, aloof one she possessed. And the dark colors she favored in her wardrobe just looked all wrong on her. He could, however, appreciate those long, tanned legs displayed in that skirt that was an inch away from dress code violation. She was attractive, sure, but he couldn't help but think that she ought to be cute instead.

In short, Kim Crawford intrigued him more than he wanted to admit.

"Well…you did say the more, the merrier," said Milton.

Jack had a feeling Milton meant Julie rather than Kim if the fixed stare Milton gave her was anything to go by. He shared a knowing smirk with Jerry. "Why not?" said Jack.

And as he spoke the words, he found himself rather looking forward to it. It would be interesting, he decided. Besides, he liked a challenge.

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**A/N: songlist recs: Come Get it Now by Pixie Lott and Dakota by the Stereophonics. Warning as lyrics might be explicit. Anyways, please review and comment!  
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